Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
