So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
