it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
there is another microwave in the elevator.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
