Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
