If i come over, it means nothing
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
