I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
