I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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