have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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