Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Help. Why am I so naked?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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