make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
