I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
