Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize