How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
