what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
