Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
