I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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