dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize