Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
