just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You have to summon your inner elephant
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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