Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
