do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
They have beer where we have blood.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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