I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
