you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
