I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I think a kid would responsible me up
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
