We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
