my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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