Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
