His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
