the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
