so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
