R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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