Its about making memories worth repressing
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
