If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
