The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
