i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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