I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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