porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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