Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
