Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
And my parents said I crawled through the house
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
