I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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