Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
