You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
