My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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