I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I will pee on everything he values.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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