Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Randomize
