I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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