I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
