Who wears a wallet chain?!
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
