Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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