Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Randomize
