Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
