I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
