i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I can tuck mytits in my pants
4 words: hood of his car
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
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