Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
