he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
