Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize