just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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