friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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