how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
