how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
