holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I just found puke in my bra..
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
