Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize
