You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
