I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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