i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
