she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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