Define "chronic" masturbator.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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