Pappa wants mamma naked
People in love make me want to vomit
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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