We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
