Quick, to the slutcave!
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
