what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
