Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
