Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
how can u be prego again
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
