Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
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