if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Randomize