I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize