i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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