you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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