Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
