I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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