the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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