Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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