Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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