So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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