I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
