My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
