You're completely useless in the revolution.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
