NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
